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Current Edition of the Script/Document: Road to Federation

1. 2020.03.12 = v2020_03_006-c2_037 Road To Federation (edits done by @johnfrankel on the requests of change from @shannon.rossiter. Changes referenced by *c2 on script)
   1. punction and sentence structure edits in Title page
      1. Pg: iii - 11. Vam Builders
      2. Pg: iii - 13. Vam Mathematics, “Who have are skilled in mathematics” Sentence structure
      3. Sc1 Pg2 - HP “What is another of our six separate British Colonies of Australia.” Should be a question mark.
      4. Sc1 Pg6 - VAM-TAS “What is the problem Sir Henry.” Should be a question mark.
      5. Sc1 Pg7 - HP “…let us bang up the elephant with the Australia public?” should be a full stop.
      6. Sc1 Pg9 - EB “Isn’t that better upon bacon.” Should be a full stop
         1. no it was a question mark and changed.
      7. Sc1 Pg9 - HP “Can you repeat of what you spoke of.” Should be a question mark.
      8. Sc1 Pg15 - HP “From where do I start.” Should be a question mark
      9. Sc1 Pg17 - EB “Conservatorship is …of an incomptent person?” Misspelt “incompetent”, should be a full stop.
      10. Sc1 Pg19 - EB “Prior to todays …of the imperial parliament?” Should be a full stop.
      11. Sc1 Pg19 - EB “Can you please those form to me here.” Should there be a “pass”/“Hand” in there? Should be a question mark.
          1. i corrected the punctuation to be a question mark. The word pass is to modern in response. I did have the forward originally and this was rejected by @ian.roberts. I changed it to have.
      12. Sc3 Pg25 - EB “ What if this happens to the common people.” Should be a question mark.
      13. Sc3 Pg29 - HP “ Whom among you stand for a federation.” Should be a question mark.
      14. Sc3 Pg30 - HP “…is much to do. Edmund?” Double spacing between words.
      15. Sc3 Pg30 - EB “That?” Should be a full stop.
      16. Sc3 Pg30 - EB “Yes that?” Should be a full stop.
      17. Sc3 Pg30 - EB “That is it?” Should be a full stop.
      18. Sc3 Pg31 - EB “Has something changed.” Should be a question mark.
      19. Sc3 Pg32 - HP “…here you have find the best…” there should be a “to” in there.
      20. Sc3 Pg32 - HP “Can you choose the 4 best problem solvers and send them to me.” Should be a question mark.
      21. Sc3 Pg35 - HP “…time planning. If you can…” Double spacing between words.
      22. Sc3 Pg37 - NAR “…for parliament. South Australia…” Double spacing between words
      23. Sc3 Pg37 - NAR “…to vote. Although a great….” Double spacing between words.
      24. Sc3 Pg37 - ML “…to vote are men. Is this not…” Double spacing between words.
      25. Sc4 Pg44 - EB “Not this again?” Should be a full stop
      26. Sc4 Pg44 - EB “…Sir Edmund. When we…” Double spacing between words.
      27. Sc4 Pg44 - EB “…our parentage. I called…” Double spacing between words.
      28. Sc4 Pg44 - EB “…Mr Barton. Later than…” Double spacing between words.
      29. Sc4 Pg47 - SD “…Edmund walk to. As long as…” Double spacing between words
      30. Sc4 Pg47 - SD “…the audience. It should not…” Double spacing between words
   2. spelling errors corrected.
      1. Sc1 Pg1 - “colonly”
      2. Sc1 Pg2 - SD “ VAS-TAS” misspelt “VAM”
      3. Sc1 Pg14 - HP “That is more than 10 year…” Misspelt “years”
      4. Sc1 Pg16 - HP “…is goo for us all.” Misspelt “good”
      5. Sc3 Pg28 - HP “…and a half millions…” and “…three and four millions when…” added “s” on the end of both millions.
      6. Sc3 Pg33 - HP “…to the chalkboard on you left and write…” Misspelt “your”
      7. Sc3 Pg33 - HP “…to the same chalkboard on you left and write…” Misspelt “your”
      8. Sc3 Pg34 - HP “…to the same chalkboard on you left and write…” Misspelt “your”
      9. Sc3 Pg37 - NAR “…this legalised. Following Mary…” Double spacing between words
      10. Sc3 Pg38 - HP “Here me now Lady Lee!” Should it be “Hear”? (This note has not been circled)
          1. change of the word is made to Hear.
      11. Sc3 Pg43 - HP “…four and send them to his bench.” Misspelt “This”
      12. Sc4 Pg45 - SD “…Henry to stand up and of his knee.” Misspelt “off”
   3. Sc1 Pg2 - EB “ You marm” No punctuation - needs a full stop or comma
      1. this does not require punction as it is joined by the parenthetical action. this means the conversation is still happening
   4. Sc1 Pg5 - HP “Very well New South Wales” it should be Queensland
      1. changed dialog after VAM-QLD speaks.
   5. Sc1 Pg6 - HP “Very well Victoria” it should be Western Australia
      1. changed dialog after VAM-WA speaks
   6. Sc1 Pg20 - EB “ …out and you six can involved in…” there should be a “be” in there.
      1. made the change, but also change the lines to sound more nineteenth century.
   7. Sc3 Pg37 - HP “ Do make reference of my character to that of drunken men.” Should there be a “you” in there? Should be a question mark.
      1. the missing word here was 'not'. change made. and this is a stated sentence, not a question.
   8. Sc3 Pg40 - HP “…drops on the floor falls into someone’s pocket…” should there be a comma or “or” in there?
      1. I added the word 'or'
   9. Sc4 Pg45 - SD “Henry loudly applauds towards Edmund and after a few seconds stands straight and puts his right hand on his heart.” Is this Edmund or Henry putting his hand on his heart?
      1. checking the production notes it is HENRY who places his hand on his heart.
   10. Sc4 Pg48 - SD “…territory (the Australian Capital Territory) and formally…” Why in brackets, is this said as a side?
       1. in scripting during a recorded of the narration the parenthesis is written for the person in the audio room to highlight the words. I do not know what you mean by 'as a side'.
          

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2. (DEL) 2020.03.05 = v2020_02_005-c1_036 Road To Federation (edits done by @davide.castagnone and approved by @johnfrankel. Changes referenced by *c1 on script)
   1. change sound cue numbers
   2. added tc (timecode) in parenthetical to improve timing sequence
   3. added placeholders for Q8, Q9, Q10 and Q11 and waiting for audio tracks.
   4. added additional sfx's in show.
   5. added parentheticals for Q17 START 50%: SAD MUSIC STORYTELLING to improve timing of the storytelling. This part needs to be vigourously rehearsed to be perfected with the sound track.
   6. made changes to end of show curtains.
      

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3. (DEL) 2020.02.20 = v2020_02-1stMSTD_032 Road To Federation (2019 Approved Edition)
   1. Show Title name changed to 'Road to Federation'
      

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4. (DEL) 2017.04.12 = v2017_04-016 Federation of Australia (1st Draft)
   

Attached files:

• v2020_03_006-c2_037 Road To Federation.pdf